Friday, February 6, 2009

Worth It

So I am now watching a 3 month old every Tuesday and Thursday. She's a pretty fussy baby, so I got out our swing to see if I could put her down and get some things done. Unfortunately, she didn't like the swing very much. As soon as she was out, Clara swooped in. She figured out how to climb into the swing herself, and even shut the tray by herself. She even figured out how to move her body so that she could swing herself. This new "toy" kept Clara entertained for about an hour! She was so happy in this thing. I tried to get a picture of her huge smile, but I never got one. She is such a silly girl and I love her so much! (Notice she has her legs crossed - something she does a lot now.)Do you ever have one of those weeks where it seems like you get so overwhelmed you can't continue anymore? Although Jeremy's new job is a huge blessing, he's not getting the hours they originally told him he would be able to work. His work will call him about an hour before his shift starts and tell him they don't have enough work for him to do. They then politely tell him not to come in that day. So instead of working 29 hours a week, this week he'll be lucky to work 7!
So I now watch 3 kids plus Clara every week. Luckily, it's worked out that I haven't had all 4 children at the same time. However, I have felt very drained this week. I don't know how mothers of 3 or more children do it. I keep telling myself that they don't have all 3 so close together, but I still can't fathom it. (The ages of kids are 3 months, 8 months, 16 months, and 21 months.) So congrats to all you mothers out there who have a few kids. You are all my heroes!
I haven't even left the house in days. By the time I have some free time, I am so tired that I don't have the energy to run errands. My house isn't nearly as clean as I would like it to be. Just as I find myself having a spare moment to clean, someone else starts crying again.
In addition to the 3 kids, I also am tutoring quite a few people. I put in about 2 hours a day doing that as well. And yes, sometimes I have that plus the kids! AHHH! Jeremy is really good about helping me too. Since he's home so much, he goes above and beyond helping out with the kids. I love him so much! Thanks babe!
OK, so enough of the negative. Even though there have been several times where I've wanted to quit and give up this week, one look at Clara and I realize I would do anything for her. If I don't work this hard, we might not have shelter or food for my little sweetie. (And yes, Jeremy feels horrible about that. He feels like he's letting his family down, even though it's not his fault his work doesn't need him to come in.) All this hard work makes it totally worth it. I know that I can do anything with Clara by my side. I love her and Jeremy so much. I am so grateful I am given this opportunity to show them how much I love them. Of course, knowing that I won't have to do this forever helps a lot as well!

4 comments:

Tricia said...

Once kids hit around 2 they become so independent that they require a lot less help. You have quite a group of kids under this age, which definitely adds more pressure than a regular family situation. Good luck with everything. How fortunate you are to be able to tutor and also babysit for the extra money.

Danielle said...

Wow, Sarah, you have got a lot on your hands. I have four, but I don't know if I could handle four at ages 21 months and under. My point is, don't beat yourself up. You are handling a lot more than most people could, I think. I admire your dedication to your family.

Anonymous said...

Wow. You have such a positive attitude. You are in what I call "the trenches of motherhood/life". One day you and Jeremy will be sitting in front of your fireplace in some fabulous house, holding your grandbabies and thinking back on how these days were the craziest, hardest, but best days of your life. Hang in there, Beck! Our prayers are with you:) (except for Jack-Jack's..he keeps praying for Mario Cart for the Wii!)

Jon, Keri, Addison, and Brooklyn said...

WOW I didn't know you were babysitting so many! Since I never get to talk to you even though I see you every day! IRONIC! I just want you to know how greatful I am for you! If you didn't help us out so much I don't know what I would do. It is so nice leaving my precious little girl with someone I trust! I am not saying this to guilt you into not ever quiting:) No really I am only saying this to let you know how much I appreciate your help! If you ever do have quit I would totally understand, but I am very greatful for you also!! HAPPY ALMOST VALENTINES!!If you need a break ever, let me know. I can always bebysit at night!